


It's Not Over Yet

by qrowrito



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Human, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Past Child Abuse, Physical Abuse, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 13:43:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8669866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qrowrito/pseuds/qrowrito
Summary: Jasper's life is turned around suddenly. Hopefully she can pull through. Title is a song by For King and Country.UPDATE: I’ve been rethinking my morals and all writing this, and I have decided to abandon it. I don’t really have the same passion as before. If anyone would like to continue writing this, hmu and I’ll send you some of my notes and ideas from before. Sorry if I’m disappointing anyone, I just really dont have anything left for this fic or idea.





	1. I'm Not Who I Was

Was it finally over? The pain, the hurtful words, the bad memories, were they all over? Jasper didn't know, couldn't feel. So she just laid there. She thought about going for her phone, for help, before vaguely remembering that it got broken. How the hell had she let this happen? Jasper hadn't allowed herself to cry for seven years but now she felt tears streaming down her face. Everything hurt. Her arms, her legs, her body, her head, her heart, everything. A dull pain and sensation of something gross between her legs reminded her what had just happened. The tears came faster now. 

Footsteps approached where Jasper lay and she shuffled backwards. Was she coming back? No, that couldn't be. Only an idiot would return to the scene of their own crime. Crime. That word echoed in Jasper's head. She hoped the person coming wouldn't question too much. A head of messy blond hair poked around the corner. The face under it was one Jasper recognized easily. Sea green eyes stared wide-eyed from behind circular glasses. He sharp nose and strangely shaped mouth were recognizable, even behind the haze of tears. Peridot. 

Jasper's adopted sister approached slowly, her hands wringing in front of her. Jasper waited for her to freak out. As expected, the realization that Jasper, the toughest person in the entire school, was on the ground beat up and crying, made Peridot's eyes go wide. She rushed toward Jasper, not realizing it would scare the girl. Jasper scrambled backwards, in hope that Peridot wouldn't be upset, or hurt her. She let out a loud yelp and hid her face. 

Peridot gasped. "Jasper it's ok! It's me, your sister, Peridot! You... don't need to be scared. I'm not going to hurt you." the normally loud girl whispered. The words didn't do much to help, but Jasper relaxed a bit against the wall she was leaning on. The bad one was gone. Jasper didn't even know their name. 

"Do- do you want anything? What do I do? Wh-what happened?" Peridot mumbled. Jasper could hear the panic coming in the younger girl's voice as it rose in pitch. "Jasper? Jasper I-I'm getting scared. What happened? I don't know- I don't- what-" Peridot's breath came faster, and she began to stammer. 

Jasper grunted, and Peridot snapped to attention. They stared at each other for a while, Jasper not really wanting to move, and Peridot probably out of worry and panic. The only thing Jasper could do was try to memorize her sister's face. Maybe it would distract her from the one thing she didn't want to think about. It didn't work. The pain was still there. She would have to verbally ask for help. Tell Peridot what happened. 

_You're the one that's supposed to be strong Jasper. What the hell? Why is it so hard to say? Just. Say the words. I... I've been raped. Oh my God. I've been raped. Someone raped me. I... I need to tell her. If I want any help Peri has to know. Three words. I've. Been. Raped. And she'll help me. It's all I have to say. Why is this so hard? I just have to talk. Just talk. Come on Jasper. Come on Jasper. Come on. Tell her. Three words- wait. You're just going in circles now. Come on. Tough it out girl. You can fucking do this. ___

"Peri..." Jasper mumbled. Peridot stared at her. Jasper thought she mumbled something along the lines of 'what is it?' but she couldn't be entirely sure. At least that was a start. One word. Now three more.

"I... um." Jasper paused and took a breath. Peridot stared expectantly. "I need help." Peridot nodded and approached much more cautiously than she did the first time. She got her skinny arms around Jasper's left arm and attempted to help her up by pulling. It did next to nothing, especially since Peridot was so much smaller. Jasper wearily rose. At least she could. She hadn't been sure if she would be able to stand.

_Wrong words dammit! Come on Jasper, you have to tell her. She needs to know about this. She needs to know. Come on just say it. Say the words Jasper. Come on. You can do it. ___

"Jasper what happened?" Peridot asked again. Jasper knew she had to tell now. The other poor girl looked terrified. Then again, what if she came back? Jasper wouldn't be able to protect both of them, much less herself. The thought scared her. She sank to her knees, unable to stand anymore. Peridot gasped. If she didn't tell Peridot now, she never would.

"S-someone..." Jasper swallowed thickly, holding back tears. "Someone... r-raped. Me." She whispered. 

She barely registered the gasp from her left side before she began to sob again. All the work of standing up was lost as Jasper curled back up. She felt weak and defenseless just from saying the words. The three words that had been so hard to say. Now more words swirled through the teen's head. Failure, idiot, slut... Jasper tried to shut them out. Short arms wrapped around her neck, but she barely registered it. The smaller body pressed up against her. That registered. And Jasper found the strength to hug back. Ugly sobs escaped her. She couldn't move. She didn't dare speak, her words would never have been understandable.

Jasper thought she heard someone talking. She didn't know. She didn't know what was happening. Where was she? Who was that? Was it someone she could trust? Were they even real? Slowly, the person helped her to her feet and led her away. Something about home? Did she have a home? No, her home was with mommy. That much she knew. Mommy was at home, probably making a snack. Her sisters... sisters? Hmm. Jasper tried to focus on that. Nothing. 

The other person kept leading. Through a city it seemed. Where was this? Was it Earth? Jasper had no idea. Why was she blindly following this person? There were so many questions swirling in Jasper's head that she barely noticed that they had arrived at a house. A woman was sitting on the porch. She stood up as soon as she saw the girls. Jasper's escort looked so similar that the woman could be assumed to be her mother. Why were they here?

"Jasper!" The woman called. The girl in question's stomach tightened. "Jasper, Peridot told me what happened. I'm... I'm so sorry honey." She barely seemed to know what to do with herself. 

"Let's get you inside." The woman said as sweetly as she could. Jasper nodded numbly and followed her inside. The house looked vaguely familiar, as if Jasper had been here before. Maybe she had. That could be sorted out later. For now, she wondered who this woman was. She had no idea. 

The woman seemed to notice her blank look and sat her down at a dining room table. When had they gotten here? Had Jasper walked here? When? She didn't remember it. 

"Jasper, do you know where you are?" The woman asked, while the other girl stood at Jasper's side. Jasper shook her head. No idea. The woman sighed.

"I have a few questions. Do you know who I am? Who she is? Who you are?" To each question, Jasper shook her head. She couldn't quite figure out why everything and everyone looked and felt familiar. 

"What about the date? Do you know that?" Again, Jasper shook her head. She knew nothing. 

"Do you want me to tell you?" The woman asked. Jasper simply nodded. 

"I'm your adopted mother, Jaune Diamond. That is your sister, Peridot. You're Jasper. I adopted you when your mother died. You are in your home in Beach City, Delmarva. It is April 3rd, 2017. Does that help you?" 

Jasper nodded. Things were coming back, albeit slowly. That really was her adopted mother. Yeah. And this was her house. She had eaten in this dining room countless times. That was her sister. Yeah. Home. She was home. That was good. Everything was going to be ok. Her mom knew what had happened and she didn't have to explain. Mom could help her. She wasn't Mommy, but that was ok. 

Jasper sank lower in her chair. Her mother knew. Shame made Jasper's face as red as the tablecloth in front of her. Shame that Jasper knew was unprecedented. She couldn't help it. A pair of arms wrapped around her. Hands rubbed her back. Jasper smelled her mom's perfume. That was comforting. She hid her face in the familiar shoulder that had been offered so many times. Jasper hid her tears, just like she had so many times before.

"Why don't you to take a shower Jasper? That might help you relax a bit." Jaune murmured. Jasper nodded and was helped to her feet. She made her way to the bathroom to prepare for her shower.


	2. Set Me Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper really needs a break. Title by Casting Crowns.

Jasper stood in front of the bathtub, buck naked. Her mother had told her to shower. She had to. But she just couldn't find the motivation. It just... wasn't there. Her mom- no. Jaune Diamond was not Jasper's mother. She never would be. Nothing felt right. She felt sick. She was in pain. The girl turned to look in the mirror and took note of the multitude of bruises. Some were shaped like the hands that had hit her, the rest nondescript shapes on her arms, breasts, neck, stomach, and... there. 

"Jasper? If you hurry we can watch a movie together. Get in the shower, ok?" Jaune called from down the hall. 

Jasper sighed and stepped into the tub, pulling the curtain behind her. She turned it on as hot as it would go, in hopes that she could burn away the pain and guilt. All that happened was her skin burned. Didn't matter. She scrubbed at her skin, making the burn worse. Who cared anymore. Jasper washed her entire body, in hopes that it would make her feel better. All it did was rub sore spots red, and rinse the dirt off. She got out of the shower when she felt clean enough and dried off. 

Jasper glanced at the bathrobes on the wall. One tiny, one huge, and one slightly bigger. She took the middle sized one, hers. _I don't want to go out there naked. They shouldn't have to see... _Jasper stopped herself there. Better not to think about it.__

__Jasper threw on the bathrobe and joined her family in the living room. They had the tv on and ready to play Zootopia. Jasper sat on Peridot's left, leaving the smaller girl in between Jasper and their mother. Peridot leaned into the larger girl when she sat down, snuggling into her side. The contact almost immediately helped to calm Jasper. The poor teen was stressed out of her mind. Now was finally a chance to relax. She was safe with her family watching a movie._ _

__The movie began to play and Jasper let herself focus on what was happening. The cute little animals were a bit of a distraction. Eventually, the noise of the movie lulled the girl to sleep. Sleep could help. Maybe. Jasper's last thought was that she might be crushing Peridot before she fell into dreamland._ _

__

_She didn't know where she was. Was she back there? No way. It was dark here, it hadn't been dark when... no. Not now. Darkness was usually calming but this time there was just something horribly unsettling. Something almost panic inducing. Jasper felt her breathing increase and tried to stop it. She heard an all too familiar scream from somewhere in the distance. A scream that she had tried to forget. She felt like a little girl again, running to find out what had happened. Something was wrong. Something... hurt between her legs. Jasper fell to the ground but there was no ground. She fell through the air, plummeting down, down, down, down..._

_She landed hard, on concrete. She was amazed she was still conscious after that. A figure loomed out of the darkness. It was strangely familiar. A tan skinned face appeared in oddly convenient lighting from somewhere above. It was her. The one that had hurt Jasper. The one that had raped her. The girl chuckled. Jasper tried to shrink back, but was already pressed up against something oddly soft. The other girl slowly unzipped her pants. Jasper whimpered. Why was she here again? Had Peridot and Jaune let her here? They wouldn't would they?_

_A penis soon made itself known, distracting her from the thoughts. Jasper tried to look away but the girl reached forward and grabbed her chin. Why wasn't she saying anything this time? What was happening? A sick, sadistic grin was plastered on the other girl's face. She raised her hand and Jasper felt a hard slap across her cheek. She shrieked in fear..._

Jasper woke up with a scream. Where was she? What had happened? She tried to figure out where she was. She was on the floor. At... at home? She was at home. The familiar smells came flooding back. She looked up to see that she was alone. The tv was off. The movie must have ended and the others gone to bed. Jasper heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Well they sure as hell weren't asleep now. Jasper groaned and started to roll onto her stomach to get up when she felt something decidedly wet between her legs. 

"No. Fuck me, no I did not." Jasper whispered. She hoped no one would notice, or ask about it.

She had done the unthinkable. She had wet herself. Jasper, the toughest person anyone knew had just wet herself from a bad dream. She hadn't done that in years. And now she actually felt tears coming at the corners of her eyes. Maybe they wouldn't ask. They would blame it on the dream. They would-

"Jasper? Honey? It's alright, I'm here now." There was Jaune. Behind Jasper. Exactly the place Jasper didn't want her. She would see what had happened. 

"Um! I'm ok! Just a dream! I'm fine! I'll get to my bed! It's fine, you don't have to help me. Mom! Mom! MOM NO! MOM STOP NO DON'T TOUCH ME!" Jasper's sentence ended in a scream. She tried to shove the big woman away, but her mother was somehow stronger. 

Jaune backed away, keeping eye contact with her daughter. Jasper could barely see the woman through the haze of tears. Everything hurt right now. Jasper slowly shuffled away from the threat, hoping to get more distance. She couldn't run in her state but she could try to escape somehow or fight anything off. But backing away was the wrong choice. The large wet spot on the floor was now clearly visible. 

Jasper heard two gasps. Oh no. Both of them had seen. They were going to laugh at her. Peridot might spread it around school. Jaune would tell all of her friends. Everyone would know that Jasper Diamond had wet herself at night. She would be the world's laughingstock. Even _she _would know, and she would get away with raping Jasper because the idiot couldn't hold her...__

__

_What kind of idiot are you? They aren't going to tell anyone. That's not how it works. Things like this are dealt with and never spoken about again. What the fuck am I thinking?_

"Hey, uh, guess you get an extra shower huh? Haha ha... sorry." Peridot laughed nervously. Jasper couldn't do anything except glare at her. 

"Peridot! That was rude! But actually, that's not a bad idea. Would you be ok with it honey?" Jaune asked. Jasper simply nodded. Her mother helped her up and both led her to the upstairs bathroom. She didn't want to go, but she did anyway.

After they left Jasper got in immediately. She wanted to get rid of the dirty feeling. She wished she could get rid of all feeling, but that's how it was. She stopped thinking partway through and lost track of time, opting to just stand in the shower. She heard the door open and stood, still and silent, waiting. Jaune told her she was putting her robe in the wash and going to bed. Jasper responded with a grunt and Jaune left. Jasper was alone. And she didn't want to be. 

She turned the shower off for the second time that night and stepped out, drying herself off. She didn't want to go anywhere, just stay in the warm, damp air of the bathroom. She sat on the toilet, head in her hands. She didn't have the energy to stand anymore. The light almost seemed too bright and Jasper leaned over and turned it off. The darkness engulfed her but did nothing to help. It only increased Jasper's fear and she didn't know what to do. So she sat in terror in the dark, hoping for everything to go away. Maybe going somewhere with light would help.

Jasper left the room and headed to her bedroom. She knew she wouldn't get any more sleep that night, but maybe she would feel safer there. She didn't want to be alone, but she didn't think Peridot would want to be woken up again by her needy sister. Tears pricked the corners of Jasper's eyes at the thought that maybe her adopted sister didn't like her that much. She was so alone in all of this. 

The teen sat down at her computer and opened the internet. She didn't know what she was going to do, but something had to pass the time. Tumblr was her first choice and she began to scroll, not paying much attention to the posts. No one would be on at this hour would they? Apparently they were. Posts passed Jasper's eyes, and she liked them absently. She didn't have the energy to reblog anything. Jasper half noticed a message in her ask box. She answered the fitness question and moved on. 

Seconds later, a message appeared in her pm box. It was from a blog called shutupimtalking. Jasper chuckled. Peridot could have chosen a better name, but no, it had to be that. She was surprised at the message now. Maybe she had missed it from earlier. 

'Go to bed Jasper, u need sleep'

'I'm not tired'

'Really? How are u possibly not tired?'

'I'm just not'

'U shud still sleep'

'The same could be said of you'

'I have my reasons'

'Yeah well so do I. You go to bed'

'Fine. As long as u do'

'Fine. Good night dork'

'Good night Jasp'

'Don't call me that'

'Srry. Good night sis'

Jasper stared at the last message. Sis. Peridot really did care about her. But why did she feel so alone? She knew she didn't want to go to school. So she disobeyed her sister's orders and stayed online. She didn't notice when 6 am came around and the house began to wake up without her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry this took so long, I've lost a lot of motivation. I'll try to get chapter three out soon but it'll be pretty weird. I want to incorporate a lot of the effects that rape victims feel so I'm doing my best. I used a couple in this chapter, with more to come. I honestly don't know how long this fic is going to be.


	3. It's Raining Somewhere Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jasper wastes time. Title name by Toby Fox and is from Undertale.

Jasper barely saw any of the posts that rolled past her face. Her eyes were blurry from exhaustion. She had no idea what time it was, nor did she care to look. Nothing seemed to matter anymore in the endless line of things happening in other people's lives. Most of the posts were aesthetics, workout logs, or one of tumblr's infamous shitposts. Occasionally, Jasper would read one, chuckle, and reblog it. Then, back to the endless scrolling. She never heard anyone else in the house get up.

Moments after reblogging a workout suggestion post, a message came in. Jasper sighed and opened the im system. The webpage crashed. Jasper sat back in her chair with a groan of frustration and looked at the clock next to her bed, which read 6:41. _did I stay up that long?_ she thought. She reloaded tumblr and checked the message.

Shutupimtalking: Jasper have you been up all night?

Damageabandon: Idk

Shutupimtalking: How the HELL do you not know??

Damageabandon: Ok fine yea I stayed up all night

Shutupimtalking: Why????

Damageabandon: I just wanted to ok

Shutupimtalking: I care about u, pls sleep

Damageabandon: don't want to shut up

Jaune walked in the room moments after Jasper sent the last message. Another notification came in on the computer but Jasper paid it no mind. She sighed and readied herself for questions that never came. Jaune walked up behind her and rested a hand on her daughter's back. Jasper leaned into the touch, saying nothing in case she ruined the moment. They stayed like that until another message from Peridot appeared and Jasper closed the tab.

"You don't have to go to school you know. It's Friday, you can take the day off," Jaune said. Jasper nodded and leaned her head all the way into the woman's belly. Jaune caressed her hair for a while before pushing Jasper away. Jasper sighed and leaned back toward her desk. She nodded.

"Do I have to eat breakfast?" Jasper asked.

Jaune shook her head and left the room, shutting the door behind her. Jasper sat and stared at the wall for a while. What in the world was she supposed to do now? She had the entire day to herself, an entire day to not think. She could read a book. Boring. Watch cartoons? Nah. _Oh wait, wasn't I going to read homestuck? That'll waste some time._

The next three hours flew by for Jasper. Her exhausted brain barely understood what was happening to John, Rose, Dave, and Jade. The whole thing was extremely confusing and only made partial sense. At least it was entertaining. The interactive flash bits were rather amusing too. The next time she looked at her clock it was 10:32 am. Well there was part of the day wasted. At least it was time well spent.

Jasper realized that her eyes were blurring and hurt a bit. She stood up and made her way to the bed, deciding to take a nap. That would waste more time. She started to plan a bit in her head how to finish the day. After her nap she would slip into the kitchen to get lunch maybe. Then she would check Tumblr. Then... then... then what? That may not last very long and Jasper definitely did not want to spend time around people.

 _I guess I can worry about that when I get to it_ she thought.

Jasper quietly tucked herself into bed and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. For the first time in almost twenty-four hours she was at peace.

~~~~~~~~~~

Jasper woke up slowly. Everything felt heavy and strange. She blinked open her eyes and looked around her room. The curtains had been opened and the whole area was bathed in light. Everything looked neat and clean, and Jasper wasn't really sure if it had been that way before she had fallen asleep. She couldn't remember. She looked around and noticed a plate with a sandwich and a cup of mysterious, dark liquid on her desk by the window. They sat at a safe distance from the computer. She wondered who had put it there. Her stomach growled and she figured she should probably eat.

Jasper rolled out of her bed and stretched. Normally she would have admired her toned body in the mirror on her dresser to the right of her bed, in front of her now, but at the moment she wanted to punch it. That was probably a bad idea.

The girl stood up, ignoring the mirror, and walked to the desk, sitting down to eat. Everything was sore and she didn't want to think about why. So she focused on eating. She sniffed the drink. The mysterious liquid was grape juice. That or wine. Jasper chuckled thinking about her mother giving her wine. She took a sip and decided it was grape juice. Yum.

The sandwich was cut in half diagonally, just the way Jasper liked it. She picked up one half and was pleased to see egg salad. She took a bite and smiled a bit. Her mother made the best damn egg salad she'd ever tasted. It had the perfect mix of mustard and mayo, and the perfect amount of relish and olives. She took her sweet time eating, enjoying the sandwich and trying not to think about anything but how absolutely delicious it was. The best god damn, motherfucking sandwich she'd ever tasted in her fucking life. Everything else tasted like absolute shit compared to this sandwich.

Jasper finished the food and sat for a while. When she looked at the clock she was shocked to see that it was 3:06 pm. She vaguely remembered it being 2:15 ish when she got up. She had spent almost an hour eating. That had to be a record. It was really rather amazing.

Now what to do with her time? Oh yeah, tumblr. She turned the computer on and opened the webpage, choosing to ignore the homestuck that she had left open. Seven new messages and four new asks. Oooh boy. She opened the asks first, hoping they wouldn't be hard to answer. One was an anon saying they loved her and that she inspired them. She smirked a bit and answered with her thanks. The other three asks were simple questions that she quickly answered.

Jasper steeled herself to open the messages. She hoped that they weren't all Peridot. She clicked the icon and was relieved when they weren't. One was a bot. Jasper deleted it without a second thought. The next two messages were friends sending her things. She liked them but didn't reply. She didn't really know what to say, or have any desire to converse. 

The last four messages were from Peridot. What else could be expected anyway? Jasper reluctantly opened them and read.

shutupimtalking: Jasper pls u need to sleep

shutupimtalking: Jasper?

shutupimtalking: I'm going to school, mom told me ur not. Ily sis.

shutupimtalking: checking in what's up.

Jasper sighed. She didn't really want to reply. So she didn't. Instead, she sat on tumblr, scrolling and laughing at memes. What else was new? Nothing was really all that interesting. There were a few posts one only sees once in a blue moon, but that was it. Tumblr was boring for once in its existence.

The bedroom door opened four hours later and Jaune walked in. Jasper turned around and sighed. She didn't really want to sleep all that much. The two stared at each other for a solid two minutes before Jaune finally spoke.

"Jasper, you do remember that your cousin and her wife are coming to meet you tomorrow right?" Jaune asked.

Jasper's eyes widened a bit in horror. Oh no. She had completely forgotten about meting her cousin Ruby, and Ruby's wife, Sapphire. Butterflies started having seizures in her stomach at the thought of meeting a family member. And all she had heard from Peridot that Sapphire was psychic or something. What if she knew about what had happened to Jasper? What if--

Jasper stopped it right there. There was no need for that right now. She took a deep breath and stood up. She stood for a moment before allowing Jaune to hug her. She let it happen, enjoying the feeling of safety.

"Why don't you have an early night. Take a bath and then head to bed, ok?" Jaune whispered. Jasper nodded in acknowledgement.

They parted and Jasper began mentally preparing herself. This was going to be fun. Probably. Maybe. Oh hell, it would be something. She'd have to wait and find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO sorry this took so long. I had a major stint of depression and lack of motivation so I didn't do much. I... I procrastinated... a chapter... about procrastination... wow. Anyway, this was pretty fun, and I did actually start homestuck (7.5 hours of reading in). I'll try to get the next chapter out soon and more fun to come. Thanks for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This is my alternative to Stuck! Chapter title by Brandon Heath! I'm going to do all chapter titles after songs. I have several ideas. I hope y'all like this fic, I'm enjoying writing it!


End file.
